Promoting good listening and behavior skills

I had a parent ask me yesterday for some tips on teaching her child to listen and behave better. She confided in me that she was feeling very discouraged and that her child didn't seem to even mind a time out and that he would simply go back to what he was doing even after she sat him down. I gave her a few ideas off the top of my head but when I went home I decided to jot down a few of the things I try to do to promote good behavior and listening skills. I decided to write them down with a few examples and decided to put it on my blog so that it might be helpful for other parents too. Although I do not have children myself, I am happy to share what works for me in the classroom. : )

How to promote good listening/behavior skills in children.

* Clear expectations. Make sure to tell your child what your expectations are. Try not to use too many words and keep it clear and concise. If giving a direction remember that most preschoolers can only follow 1 to 2 steps at a time. Sometimes, just taking the time to talk with your child about what is expected can fend off behaviors which are not acceptable before they even happen.

 

* Give a countdown. “In 5 minutes it’s time to clean up.” This way you give the child a warning that a transition is coming and you give them time to react.

 

* Consistency. If it’s not okay one day it cannot be okay the next day. Consistency really is the key in my opinion.

 

* If you give a consequence you must follow through. If you tell the child that they are going to miss their favorite tv show and you then let them watch it, they learn that you are going to give in and they will continue the behavior. When you give your child a consequence it can also feel like a consequence for you but, you have to stand your ground in a firm but loving way.
 

* Connect the consequence to the behavior. For example, if the child is in trouble for drawing on the walls the child must clean the mess. Just giving a time out and you cleaning the mess is the easy way out for the child and he/she will not learn to take responsibility for his/her actions.

* Don’t yell or get emotional when delivering consequences. Always remember to avoid yelling, screaming or arguing when giving a consequence. If you feel yourself getting out of control simply count to 10 before delivering the consequence. Don’t debate with your child it will only make things worse and result in a power struggle. Instead, try to speak clearly and in a matter of fact tone of voice.

* Give consequences that have an impact on your child's thinking. When your child misbehaves, you always want to ask him/her this question afterward: "What will you do differently next time? Have him/her come up with some examples. If he/she can't, you can help him with a few of your own.

 

* Label Feelings. Often times when a child is acting out and not listening it is because they are not able to effectively communicate how they are feeling. One way to work on this is to label how the child is feeling and therefore give them the vocabulary they need to express themselves in a healthy manner. Examples, “That sounds frustrating” “You’re disappointed that we have to leave now” “If only I could make that orange juice into your favorite apple juice” etc..    

 

* Remember to praise good behavior and don't get discouraged!!! Make sure to let your child know when he/she is exhibiting great behavior. I am not big on rewards for behavior as it can sometimes send the wrong message to children but I do believe in incentives. If you work hard at a job and you get a raise we call it an incentive, so why when children do a great job can we not also give an incentive for them to keep up the good work? For example, your child could earn an extra story that night before bed or an extra 20 minutes at the park as an incentive for having an extra good day. Your time with your child doesn't cost you anything and that is all the incentive most children need.

These are just a few things that seem to work well from my experience. I hope that this has been helpful and if any other parents have any questions or need some new ideas on how to help their child with a certain skill please feel free to ask. : )

Self Control

Teaching about self control...

through bubbles!

At circle time, I blew the bubbles and as if on cue the children yelled, "bubbles" and tried to pop them. Then I told the children that this time they could not pop the bubbles not even if it landed on them. They did an amazing job and I explained to them that by not popping the bubbles even though they wanted to, that they were using self control. We discussed the importance of this idea and how we must think before we act to keep ourselves and our friends safe. I am hoping to use this lesson as a reference throughout the year to remind children about that time with the bubbles and what it meant and felt like to use self control. : )

Found this idea on peacelovelearning and just had to share!

 

Click here for a fun way to go over classroom rules.

Classroom Rules

Thumbs up or down?

In this container I have typed up many different scenarios that could happen at school from, Listening to friends to walking out of the classroom without telling a teacher and the children must reply with a thumbs up, if it something we should do at school or a thumbs down, if it is something that we should not be doing at school. What a fun and interactive way to go over the classroom rules and expectations.

Bee's for Behavior!

At the beginning of the year the children and I develop a set of classroom rules together. I try to keep the rules positive but often times the children will come up with many rules such as, "no hitting" or "no kicking" so we let them have a chance to express these rules with our Bee's for Behavior! We make them from toilet paper tubes and glue on yellow tissue paper, black ribbon for stripes and yellow paper for the wings.

I believe that by having the children come up with the rules for the classroom that they will be more apt to follow them in the long run. 

Happy Thoughts and Good Moods!

Are your children sometimes cranky or irritable? 

Well, here is a fabulous way to cheer them up!

A mood duster!!!

It looks just like an ordinary duster... but it works like magic! Simply dust off any cranky children and instantly smiles and laughter will ring throughout the classroom!

Teaching Compassion!

My uncle recently lost his battle with cancer and as hard as it has been it really got me thinking about the importance of teaching children to care about causes such as a cure for cancer.

Last year at my school we participated in the American Cancer Society, “Paint the Town Purple” event in support of the Relay For Life. We had recently lost a staff member to Leukemia and were trying to raise money and awareness for his family and friends who would be walking in his honor.

I did my best to explain to the children why we were going to be fund raising and why our friend Dave was no longer with us. It was honestly one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my teaching career. I explained to the children that it was an illness where sometimes there is nothing that doctors can do to make it go away. Furthermore, I explained to them that many people and children needed our help. It was really moving to me to hear the beautiful messages that the children wanted to tell to the people who have this horrible disease. It was even more touching how well our school community came together and we ended up raising a good amount of money for a wonderful cause. 

Kindness!

Kindness needs to be taught!!! It is a learned value and needs to be modeled for children. It is also something that needs to be praised! In my classroom we have a kindness chain that hangs from the ceiling and each time a child is caught being kind to a friend they receive a link! When there is enough links that the chain touches the floor we have a kindness party!

 My new and improved link sign! : )